why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
