Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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