What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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