so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
