mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize