Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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