The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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