So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
