Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
