I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
