why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
