I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
