hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
