he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
