He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
