i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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