Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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