just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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