We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize