So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
