No, you can still breathe under the balls.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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