ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
