Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
