Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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