Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize