Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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