tonight lets celebrate not being married
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
