its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
