maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
