i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize