Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
