I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
