i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
