So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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