these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Too much gin, very little bucket
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
