I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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