I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
