i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
