It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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