You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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