woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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