David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
