I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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