I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
