No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
