i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
