I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
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