why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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