i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
