I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
