I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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