At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
