Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
