I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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