TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
