i would punch a child for taco bell
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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