Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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