We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
