Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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