just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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