Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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