one two three fourrrrnication!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize