he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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