dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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