just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i dont even know how to be here
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize