FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
