Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
