I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
