Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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