People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
