fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
